Adrian/ Poet/ 18/ California bred/ Chuck bass life/ completely apathetic

 

do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how

(Source: prudence-halliwell)

Woke up with an empty feeling at the pit of my stomach.
How perfect.

Pretty sure my type is white, ex gf probs up the ass, blonde, colored eyes, broken mentally, and a Gemini.
Yep that bout sums it up.

Wellllll fuck

Today started off wonderfully. I got to wake up hella early for a not so hard hike at crystal cove with the girl I’ve been dating for a couple weeks now. Then we had lunch and we kissed blah blah blah. I got to thinking, “let’s say this gets serious. Let’s just say we actually go steady.” How the fuck do I tell my parents, who know I’m gay but are still I’m denial? I feel guilty because I want them to be apart of my life because this girl is pretty awesome. So I get home and straight up tell my dad. He gives me this lecture about how this wrong then gets mad at me for not telling him about her since day 1. And basically expects me to be straight up with my gayness with him all the time. It’s really so much harder than that because my mom is outright against it. Like I’m not even open to my coworkers (Cynthia or domo if you’re reading this…surprise I’m gay. Have been since day 1. Just act straight so I don’t have to explain myself).
Anywho I tell my dad and now he’s making me tell my mom. Great.

If that weren’t enough the girl that I’ve liked since summer but never gave me the time of day texts me saying she misses me and wants to go out with me. I wanted to shoot myself with a nail gun in the eyes because
1. I’ve wanted nothing more than to date this girl for the past 8 months.
2. She would do this to me when I’m in a good place with my current girl.
3. I want to change my habits so bad. Juggling 1 girl is already hard enough.
Fuck my life.

  1. You are stronger than you realise.
  2. You are crueller than you realise.
  3. The smallest words will break your heart.
  4. You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
  5. People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
  6. You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
  7. You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
  8. You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
  9. Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again.
  10. Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
  11. You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
  12. Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
  13. You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.
  14. Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive.
  15. You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
  16. You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
  17. You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
  18. Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
  19. People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
  20. You will be okay.
  21. You will be okay.

21 things my father never told me  (via fuckoff-mondays)

This.

(via saintsbecamesailors)

(Source: ohthativy)